Not screwed up enough to get this paper revised

Nearly a month ago, I wrote the following:

Research-wise, I’m struggling to find the time and energy to revise the rare first-author paper I have in the journal queue.  There won’t be any problem satisfying the reviewer and getting the paper accepted – once I have some blocks of time to get the damn work done.  This paper needs to be in press relatively soon due to a grant-related deadline.

I actually have put in a few 3-hour sessions on this paper and it’s certainly closer to being resubmitted.  But, there’s still a fair bit of work, and not just revising text.  If I could spend an entire day working on it, I might be able to finish.  However, I’m not really good at spending an entire Saturday or Sunday on research after a typical week of being squashed through the wringer.

Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure my inability to get this finished and sent back is one of the down sides to getting some relief from my anxiety disorders.  Being freaked out about deadlines and my job and everything else was horrible for my overall health, but often pretty good for getting things done.  More importantly, it instilled a sense of urgency about projects like this that was enough to overcome the fact that I was already working too hard on everything I really had to do for my job.  The latter is still probably the case, but now I’m giving in to the tiredness of doing all of that (which is at least a full-time job) and not being as able to rally to get extraneous stuff done like publish research in time for a grant-related deadline.

It’s a real loss, and I don’t quite yet have anything positive to balance it out.  Feeling emotionally better is good, but it hasn’t helped my external life any.  Intellectually I need some research productivity to feel good; it’s still something I like doing, when I have a project I like.  I hope I can get this figured out at some point.

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